the story of you

you've been a part of my thoughts since i was a little girl - dreaming of you and wondering about you. and with greater understanding of god and relationship, i found myself missing you realizing god had already planned your existence and HE knew you. the anticipation would only grow throughout my twenties as i tried to focus on the moment and the present journey i was on. there were many questions and hopes about the turn my life would take when i got married. my heart swells with pride and joy now as think back on the single most important decision i made when i was 26, choosing to join my life with your daddy. he was someone i knew would be good for you and me, but i had no idea, just how perfect a match he would be and what a great team we would become. i can't wait to talk to you about the magic of picking your mate and the reward that comes with the exercise of patience. this is the lesson i learned in my long wait for your daddy and the very thing that i would draw upon years later in the wait for you. once we were married i knew you could be on your way but, one year turned into two and two crept up on three. with some investigation we found what may be a devastating obstacle in the conception of you, but jeff never wavered. he always said you would happen when it was time. i wish i could say i had such confidence. i worried and hoped and missed you. one day i was driving home from work thinking of you and decided i had to do something, so i decided i would begin asking god for you every day. so real simply, at random times i would just say to something like, "god, could today be the day?" once i had asked, i knew i had done what i could do and then i could let go and just wait. then, one day only a few months later i felt like there was reason enough to take a test. at home in our loft, i took the test thinking i'd just get the result and resume my day without having my hopes up. i saw the positive result and could hardly believe it! i waited for jeff to get home to tell him and he had the biggest smile on his face i had ever seen. you were formed.

again, with the waiting. timing is everything to me and always will be. i had a trip planned to texas and determined it was there i would tell the family. by then you would be 8 weeks growing. since you were then the size of a jelly bean, i gave everyone a bag of jelly beans with a hospital wristband around them with your due date on it. i couldn't wait to see who figured it out first. i hope those facial expressions with last in my memory forever.